Free Legal Tip No. 1: Avoid Court by Making Peace

If you are reading ATI (this blog), then you most likely believe that Jesus Christ is the son of God, made flesh, and sacrificed for our sins. Assuming this is true, then you should be aware that Jesus had a few things to say about resolving conflicts. I am writing this post not only because I am interested in the subject personally and professionally, but also because I believe that many if not most churches have dropped the ball in this area.

To start the ball rolling again, lets look at Christ's words:

" 15If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 18Truly, I say to you,whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven" (Matt 18:15-18).

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God" (Matt 5:9).

These verses are famous. Notice, these scripture are not directed at non-believers. They are a command to children of God to resolve their disputes in a way that is different from how the secular world resolves its disputes. When was the last time you heard of or saw someone take a dispute before the church body or leadership? Again, many churches have dropped the ball, but so have many believers. After all, the process starts with the believer, not with the church.

First, Christ advises us to attempt to resolve disputes among believers privately, by discussion between just the persons involved (see Matt 18:15). If a private discussion does not resolve the dispute, then Christ advises us to bring it before 1 or 2 other believers (Matt 18:16), but if the conflict continues, then Christ advises us to take it before the Church (Matt 18:17). Where someone refuses to listen to the Church, Christ advises us to treat him in the same fashion as a non-believer (Matt 18:17). Regardless, Christ has taught us that those who seek first to make peace shall be blessed (Matt 5:9).

As an attorney, I often see people, even believers, taking others to court. Often, the decision to sue someone is a person's immediate reaction to a conflict/dispute, and that is unfortunate. It is true that I get paid to handle litigation (civil lawsuits), but it is also true that I get paid to help people find less expensive, less damaging ways to resolve their problems. My favorite method is "Christian conciliation," which is a fancy way of saying: resolve your disputes Biblically!

There are many reasons to look to the Bible when presented with a dispute. The first is, obviously, to please, honor, and glorify God. Every conflict/dispute is an opportunity to for those involved to glorify God by following His Word. A second reason to resolve a dispute Biblically is that the Bible promises that persons striving to make peace will be blessed (Matthew 5 does not qualify that statement). Probably, any remaining advantages to Biblical resolution of disputes/conflicts flow from that blessing. However, to be more specific, there are three more really good reasons to resolve your disputes Biblically: (1) it works; and (2) it focuses on reparining damaged relationships not just chasing money; and (3) it is almost always cheaper/more cost-effective than going to court.

The following is a common fee structure for a superior court in Georgia: $85 to file for divorce; $80 for other civil actions (including business disputes and personal injuries); and $25 each time the sheriff has to serve someone with process (at least once per each defendant in a lawsuit). These fees are in addition to those of your attorney. Attorneys handle most cases on an hourly rate or a flat rate based on a projected number of hours at an hourly rate, so the longer it takes to resolve your dispute, the more it will cost you.

Litigation begins with the filing of a complaint and continues through judgment and all appeals. This process can take years to complete. The discovery (investigation) phase alone can last up to 6 months or more. While litigation might result in you receiving a money judgment, there is never a guarantee you will win. If you lose, then you are worse off than when you started. If you win, you may still get a judgment for an amount less than the cost of bringing the lawsuit, making the lawsuit a waste of time and money. Even if you get a huge judgment, it has to be collected, and it is tough to "squeeze blood out of a turnip," so to speak.

So, what is the Biblical alternative? First, try to work out your disputes privately, just like Christ encouraged. Often, conflicts can just be "taked out." Sometimes, in more difficult situations, negotiation resulting in a written agreement can be used to both prevent and settle disputes (it is often helpful, even at this stage, to get a legal professional to actually draft any written agreements to ensure that they will work in court, but you can also do it yourself).

If you cannot resolve a conflict with a fellow believer privately, then get a couple brothers/sisters from church to listen to all sides and help you work out the dispute. If that doesn't work, then get your pastor and the church involved. Surely you trust men and women of God to judge your dispute more than you would a secular judge/jury?

If none of these options work, then Christ tells us treat that opponent as a non-believer (assuming s/he is a believer to begin with). When that happens, it is time to discuss your options with an attorney (if you have not done so already). Remember, if you truly cannot afford to hire an attorney - there are non-profit organizations like Legal Aid available to assist you.

A good attorney will listen to your problem and walk you through the pros and cons of each option available to you (as opposed to just telling you what to do with no explanation). A good attorney should also advise you that there are alternatives to litigation and courts, even when dealing with non-believers. Your attorney can often negotiate a settlement or help you in obtaining a mediation or arbitration of the dispute. Mediation involves sitting down with a skilled mediator who listens to both sides and helps them find a mutually agreeable solution to the problem that the parties sign off on as a legally binding settlement. Arbitration is an alternative to litigation and trials where an arbitrator hears both sides and issues and issues a legally binding decision (much like a judge).

If you hire a Christian attorney (I know we're rare, but we do exist), then he will (hopefully) introduce you to Peacemaker Ministries (http://www.peacemaker.net/), which provides believers with Christian mediation and arbitration services that will focus on repairing the relationships involved rather than just the conflicts.

As a last resort, you can still take your opponent(s) to court. Christ advises us treat believers who refuse to resolve their disputes Biblically as though they were non-believers. Sometimes, it is best to "turn the other cheek," but this does not always result in making peace. Peacemakers are blessed, not peacefakers (the term "peacefaker" was coined by Ken Sande, president of Peacemaker Ministries and author of "The Peacemaker").

Ignoring a continuing, ongoing dispute is not making but faking peace by turning a blind eye to the conflict. There are disputes that have to be actively resolved, and "turning the other cheek" does not mean that we can just ignore all our problems until they go away. I could write a whole post on discerning which disputes can be overlooked and which ones cannot, but suffice it to say that there are disputes/conflicts (such as physical abuse, marital strife, employment disputes...) that must be resolved and cannot be overlooked if peace is to be made. When such a conflict arises, it is always wise to seek the Lord's will first. It is also wise, when someone is physically hurting you, to immediately seek legal counsel and judicial intervention to keep you safe until a solution is found and peace can be made.

Whatever you decide, remember that, as a Christian, we must consider both what gives glory to God and what will result in peace. Often the best way to discern what will give God glory in a situation is to read His Word, mediate upon it, and to pray. God will lead you out of the darkness.

Bottom line: going to court isn't cheap, and while it might get you some money, it rarely glorifies God or repairs any damage to the relationships involved. Also, there are usually alternatives available that are more efficient and cost-effective.

***Disclaimer: I am an attorney, but I am not YOUR attorney, meaning that the advice in this blog post is general advice for the masses and not tailored to anyone's specific needs/concerns/issues. I advise anyone with a legal question or a conflict to speak with an attorney and give that attorney the benefit of all the facts. Obviously, the best legal advice will come from a skilled and trustworthy attorney fully acquainted with the situation you are facing rather than someone offering legal tips on a blog.

A Wise Man Seeks Wise Counsel (no. 2)

The point of this second post on the subject of following wise counsel is how to find it, how recognize it, and how implement it/put it into action in your life.

In the first part of this post (found here), I wrote about the wisdom of considering and following "wise counsel" (advice). I cited the following scriptures, which I will also refer to in this post:

"The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but he who heeds counsel is wise" (Proverbs 12:15). "By pride comes nothing but strife, but with the well-advised is wisdom" (Proverbs 13:10). "The ear that hears the rebukes of life will abide among the wise. He who disdains instruction despises his own soul, but he who heeds rebuke gets understanding" (Proverbs 15:31). "Listen to counsel and receive instruction, that you may be wise in your latter days" (Proverbs 19:20).

I have a very simple method for finding/recognizing wise counsel, and I call it, "Defer to the superior pool of knowledge." This is not a Bible verse, so remember that when applying this principle: it's not necessarily fool-proof. However, it generally has worked for me (when I was wise enough to apply it).

Deferring to the superior pool of knowledge means, essentially, trust the judgment and advice of people who are speaking from a position of expertise greater than your own. To an extent, you do this already: when their automobile transmission goes out, most people don't try to fix it themselves unless they are transmission specialists. If a restaurant owner is a bad cook, then s/he will probably hire a chef/cook to work in the kitchen. Similarly, a manager at a software company who has no experience in coding software had better hire a good programmer (hint: I am nodding in Rob's direction with that one).

It seems so obvious that, when there is a fire, we should call the fire department, and when someone breaks into our house we should call the police. Of course, I think we can agree that the plumber is the man to call to fix the pipes in our house, but what about the ones in our chest? Who among us after a heart attack hires a plumber to perform open-heart surgery? Any takers on that one?

However, how many of us have tried to save a dime on a home improvement project only to find we made the problem far worse than it originally was? Ever had a problem cost more to fix because you made it worse by trying to fix it on your own? How many people have tried to resolve a legal dispute without consulting an attorney (wink-wink). How many of us have risked being found guilty (or actually been found guilty) of tax fraud because we thought we could itemize our tax return just as well as a tax pro (nodding at my wife)? How many people try to resolve dangerous marital disputes without consulting their pastor (hello - God invented marriage...)? Anyone without a degree in finance or economics feel like playing the stock market without first getting some good advice?

Sometimes, we human beings tend to think that we are an island unto ourselves, capable of tackling any problem. However, most of us don't know everything. I readily admit that there is always someone out there who knows more about a given subject than I do. My wife knows more about preparing tax returns than I could ever hope, and Rob definitely knows more about computers than I do. Neither of them, however, knows more about the law than I do. These differences in skills do not represent a competition between us. Rather, our different abilities represent an opportunity for us to help each other and provide each other wise counsel on different subject matter.

I know enough about income taxes to do my own, and I have done it before, but I would never think that I could do my income tax return better than my wife can. Rather than letting pride be my downfall (see Proverbs 13:10 above), I admit that she knows more than I do, and I defer to her on income tax issues because she possesses a "pool of knowledge" superior to my own on that subject. Similarly, while I know a little bit about computers and programming, if I have a computer problem, then I call Rob. His pool of computer knowledge is superior to my own.

Admitting that people know some things better than I do allows me to get the best information before I make a decision. I try to remember that, "He who disdains instruction despises his own soul, but he who heeds rebuke gets understanding" (Proverbs 15:31). I benefit from the knowledge of the wise, and listening to their advice, on their areas of expertise makes my life easier. Also, according to God's word, listening to this kind of advice is a wise decision on my part.

Perhaps this seems obvious to some, but I know there are many people out their who just do not know how to take advice. Anyone who refuses to listen to advice, however, despises his own soul - it is in the Bible. So, the next time someone who has been happily married for 50 years gives you a tip on how to make your marriage work well, consider listening. Even if you have been married for 60 years, listening does not hurt. After all, time is not the only measure of experience. I am a better attorney than some others who have been practicing much longer than I have, but there are some attorneys who have been practicing for fewer years than I have who are better. There is no shame in admitting that - it's just true.

Admitting and accepting the truth puts me in the best position to identify who has more knowledge or talent on a given subject or issue than I do. Listening to such people enriches my own knowledge on the subject. Even if I do not follow their advice, by listening to it, I will remember it when time reveals who was right. If I was wrong, then perhaps I should have listened and need to reexamine my decision-making process.

I realize that sometimes the cost of hiring an expert is more than some of us can afford. If it weren't for insurance, most of us could not afford the services and expertise of a heart surgeon. Sometimes, wise counsel comes at a high price. Being a good steward of our money requires us to evaluate whether the cost is worth the benefit. I usually handle those situations by considering whether it is possible that I could handle the matter alone successfully. If not, then the expense might well be worth it. If I simply cannot afford the advice of on counselor, then I shop around to find one that I can.

This is also where family and friends come in handy. Your dad may not be a plumber, but if he is 20-30 years older than you, then he has been around long enough to have lived through a few clogged drains. Even if he cannot fix your sink, there is a good chance he knows of an honest plumber who will cut you a deal. Similarly, your mother may not be a lawyer, but she may know of one who can tell you what to do about that traffic ticket you can't believe you received.

Just remember, if you call your dad about that sink and he says, "I have no idea, but you might try taking it apart to see what is wrong," then you might want to get a second opinion before taking a wrench to that sink. Anytime someone admits that s/he has "no idea" about something, the advice that follows should be taken with a grain of salt unless that person's advice is sending you to someone more knowledgeable.

This is all pretty intuitive advice, but just because we all know it is true, does not mean it is easy to implement/use in our lives. So here is the secret: check your pride. Pride is what comes between people and good advice. Second, while you need to be responsible with your money, remember that it isn't very responsible to spend money on unessential things when you "cannot afford" the wise counsel you so desperately need. How many of us would spend $30 on dinner out with our spouse but balk at spending $30 on a phone conference with an accountant to make sure we can afford that dinner? So, not only do we need to check out pride at the door, but we need to check our budgets as well. Plan ahead - we all need advice, but wise advice rarely comes free. I recongize that, even if we budget for it, some of us cannot afford to pay for wise advice. Here's a tip: "Legal Aid" offers low or no cost legal services to those who truly cannot afford them. There are also medical clinics and hospitals that take indigent cases. If you cannot afford wise counsel, then there may be a non-profit entity out there designed to help you get the advice you need at a price you can afford.

I will end this post with a story I heard about from a friend of mine that I think serves as an excellent example of the danger of failing to seek and listen to wise counsel. A medical student was given a very large house in her divorce. She neither hired an attorney nor an accountant to assist her in the divorce. Apparently, her friends told her not to worry about it because the divorce was "uncontested," and the woman could not "afford to pay for advice" while she was already paying for her med school tuition. She also assumed that the "divorce judge" would make her aware of any potential problems. So, this woman read the separation agreement for herself and decided that she was "taking her husband to the cleaners." Because she was a medical student and considered herself to be a very intelligent person, it never occured to her that she might be reading the paperwork wrong or that separation contracts cannot always be read literally as though they were a book in a library.

However, when the property tax and homeowner's insurance bills came due, she discovered that she could pay neither. Her husband also failed to remind her that the house was subject to a mortgage. A reference to the mortgage was buried in the separation agreement and divorce papers.

Had she consulted a wise accountant, he would have told her that a house is never free: there are always hidden costs like property taxes, insurance premiums, and repairs. He would also have told her, most likely, that the bills related to maintaining a house are more than the average full-time medical student can afford.

Had this woman consulted a wise attorney, he would likely have either performed or obtained a title examination of the house, which would have revealed the mortgage (which was also referenced in her divorce papers, which she misread). The attorney would also have told her that judges are prohibitted by law from giving legal advice in the cases over which they preside. She didn't even consider applying for nonprofit legal aid, which would have given her legal counsel at little or no cost, because she thought that she was "smart enough" to handle the matter herself.

This woman lost all the money she received in her divorce settlement trying to trying to pay bills for the house that she could never have realistically afforded. What is the moral of the story? The woman should have gotten some wise counsel, who would have told her not to take responsibility for a house she could not afford. The expertise she needed most was that of a good real estate agent. Had she demanded the house be sold during the divorce, an option she never considered, she might have been able to pocket the difference between the sale price and the outstanding bills.

Was this woman dumb? No. She was very smart. However, she was not very wise. She was too filled with pride and arrogance to seek help. She could not afford to pay for the wise counsel that would have saved her thousands of dollars. Bottom line, we often cannot afford to do without wise counsel.

Arrogance and pride always come with a price tag. Sometimes, "do-it-yourself" is the wisest, most cost-effective course of action. However, before I build a wooden deck or cement porch in my backyard, you had better believe that I am calling my parents and talking to somebody who has done that kind of work before. I may be smart, but when it comes to home improvement, I know that I am not wise. Good thing I know some wise counsellors.

UPDATE: see the next article in this series here.

Why a World?

As Christians, we believe that God the Father created all that is through Christ -- "Through him [the Word, or Christ] all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made." (John 1:3) Occasionally it has occurred to me to wonder, why a world? What purpose does the physical universe serve in God's plan? I got many of these ideas from C.S. Lewis, though a few may be original.

What can we learn about God's plan? First, we know that the Father begot the Son -- "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth." (John 1:14) The Father is sufficient in Himself; He needs nothing. Everything that is or could be is contained in Himself. We can see that it was good to beget the Son, because God is good and He chose to do so. He did so, in the words of the Nicene Creed, "before all worlds." Therefore it pleased God the Father to create something separate from Himself of the same kind as Himself. Having begotten Christ, the Father says "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased." (Matthew 17:5)

Perhaps the most likely reason for God to create what we know is to create spiritual creatures who could share in His glory -- less than Christ, but possessing the free will necessary to choose to love their maker. While of course I can't know for certain, I see no other viable reason for God to do so. I'll proceed from the assumption that this was His motive, to the extent that I'm capable of understanding His reasons.

If many spiritual beings were His intent, why not make many Christs? Well of course when it comes to God it's close to meaningless to talk about "what if" -- for us, if some circumstance had been different, things could have happened differently. For God, things are determined by His unchanging, eternal nature. He is subject to no external forces, and as such could never fail to enact His will. However, even then there is a logical difficulty with the concept of God begetting many Sons. In what way could they differ from each other? Each would be a perfect reflection of the Father; each would be all-knowing and all-powerful, as granted by the Father; each would have the same relationship to the Father. In John 1:1 we read that "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." How could there be another Word? How could it be different, when the Word is eternal and unchanging and true? The only thing it could be to allow multiplicity would be "incomplete," in which case it is less than Christ.

We see, then, that the idea that God could beget more than one Son seems a logical impossibility. So, if God chooses to create many creatures capable of loving Him, they cannot be of the kind that Christ is. They must be smaller, less than Christ -- containing less of the Father's essence. They must be created, not begotten. So let us assume that God now chooses to create lesser beings. What form then will these creatures take?

Perhaps we would assume that these creatures could be purely spiritual, in the way that God probably is (though this is not certain; Genesis 3:8 says in part "Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day"). This brings up a difficulty, however. Imagine two purely spiritual beings, consciousnesses outside of space or time. How would they interact? If they could "touch" each other at all, how would they distinguish between themselves, with no obvious boundaries between them? How would they process ideas between them, without time? It's difficult to conceive how this could work.

So perhaps in order for minds to communicate with each other, they require some sort of idea of space and time -- space, to allow them to separate themselves from each other; time, to allow them to present ideas, process received information, and produce new statements. This is not enough, however. They still have no method of communication, so we need matter of some kind. These entities need some amount of matter over which they have power to use to communicate with each other. They must not have too much power, however: if one is entirely in control of its surroundings, no other would be able to use those surroundings to communicate. Therefore we need some sort of neutral outer world, which the different consciousnesses can all affect in the same way. That way they can all use the same methods to make sounds through the air or gestures carried by reflection of light which enable communication.

In attempting to envision some way many for souls to exist and interact with each other, we have already arrived at something quite akin to the world we know. As it is with God, the way He made things is the only way they could be, because He is all-powerful and because His nature does not change. So, while this is not a definitive proof by any means, I believe it's a useful theory for why there is a universe and what purpose it serves.

Bad Things and Good People

A couple in my church recently had a pair of twin boys who lived for only a few short hours. In light of this sort of event, one's mind comes to the frequently asked question: Why do bad things happen to good people?

Many people, unfortunately including many Christians, don't have a good answer for this extremely important question. Answers exist, however: the whole truth about this question can be found in Christianity and nowhere else.

There are different kinds of "bad things" which can happen. The kind I'm going to consider, in light of the unfortunate loss of precious children to a medical condition mentioned above, is the "accidental": Why do good people get in car accidents and get sick? Isn't God in control of the natural world?

It's important to think about what's really being asked here. We know that human beings have free will, so they have the ability to drive drunkenly or generally poorly. We also know that diseases are a part of the world, and that people get sick every day. These are common events, so it's not as though tragic events happen only to good people.

What we're really asking is: Since we know that God has the power to make things happen or not happen, and since we know He has used this power to spare people in the past, why doesn't God make exceptions for those who worship Him, or even those who appear objectively like nice people?

I once saw a study purporting to measure the effects of prayer on disease; in that case, it was considered failure if the results of those who were prayed for were the same as those who were not prayed for. The assumption was that God would (or should) heal those who were prayed for more often or faster than those who were not prayed for, that he would give special treatment to His people.

There are several reasons that God may not choose to intervene in the way we want Him to. First, if God were to intervene to spare His people pain by manipulating the physical world as often as we'd like, how long would it be before His direct intervention was more the rule than the exception?

There's very little to stop this from invalidating the very nature of man's free will: after all, the very thoughts which lead us to evil acts are formulated via chemical processes in the physical brain. Should God turn off the chemical reactions which would lead us to evil thoughts, as well?

Secondly, who's to say that a given tragic "accident" does not serve God's purpose in some grander way? Doesn't the doctor cause us pain, sometimes tremendous pain, in the name of healing us? Sometimes the doctor acts on our behalf but without our consent, for instance if we were badly injured and could not bring ourselves to the hospital. It is his job to know that we need his services, whether we know to ask for them or not, and it is his job to inflict some pain to save us. For this, we consider him good. Can we not do the same for God?

It seems reasonable to think that if, in order to heal the body, the body must be made to suffer, then in order to heal the soul the body and soul may need to suffer. The doctor's first incision is an injury itself, a wound which is harmful. However, it is necessary for the operation, and it can and will be healed fully in the end. We can consider the incision good, then, for though it is in itself bad, through it healing is brought about.

Some of our tragic accidents are likely to be "incisions": injuries which can be used to heal us; surface wounds which expose parts of us that are diseased, so that they may be healed. How could the doctor have done his work without that incision?

Finally, these accidents may come about to glorify God in some unexpected way. Job's tribulations served primarily to inform us about God's nature, and show us our proper place below Him. Job learned from the experience, but his trials seem focused on illuminating God, rather than teaching Job. As a result of his troubles, billions of people have learned important information about the nature of God.

Tragic accidents are difficult for everyone, and seem somehow unfair and undeserved when they happen to those we love, to good people. However, God is good, and He need not intervene to prevent every unfortunate event to be so. With guidance we can see why these events may occur. Rather than turning from God or blaming Him for these things, we must learn to lean on Him in our times of trial, and to learn what we can from these events.